Apple Valley

 

There are places of worship all over the city; the front desk of your hotel or host family will almost certainly be able to direct you to one nearby. If not, though, the following are centrally located.

For churches of specific denomination, check with your local shaman. There's a majestic Lutheran church in Lakeville, for example. Evangelical Christian ministries are mostly all over, with some historic churches in other parts of the country.

Grace Lutheran Church

Modern Lutheranism. In a remarkably beautiful building near downtown. Step inside and see the beautiful altar carvings and wood panels in the main hall. Worship services Su 9:30PM, W 7:00PM

First United Methodist Church of Apple Valley

Methodist services.

 

In the past few years travelers carrying alcohol on their persons or in their luggage have been inconvenienced by local taxi drivers. It is recommended by out-of-state travelers that have been troubled to avoid bringing any alcoholic or illegal substances if you will be using taxis to get around the city.

Airport Taxi

Besides offering unmatched transportation service to the MSP International Airport, Airport Taxi can also drive you to wherever your heart desires. Drivers are not from the area but still do an excellent job of helping you find what you are looking for. Due to increasing occurrences of theft, drivers no longer equip their cabs with GPS navigation units. Rather, they dial a family member or good friend and have them Google the address of your destination. Craving sushi but don't know the names of any restaurants? Mohammed the driver can tell Mohammed on the phone to search for "sushi" and within milliseconds speeds may vary, dependent upon Google.com traffic Mohammed can reel off a list of sushi restaurants in Apple Valley and provide reviews as well.

Aspen Limousine Service

If you prefer a vehicle with a bit more starch in its suspenders, then arrive in Apple Valley with utmost style and class with Aspen Limousine Service. Featuring an unmatched fleet of luxury vehicles and exotic sports cars, the cream of their crop is hands-down the Hummer H2 stretch limousine. Beware of women throwing their undergarments at you when you pull-up in this elephantine truck as your head can get caught in one of the plus-sized panty leg-holes and create a choking hazard. Tip the driver well and he might share his flask of whiskey with you. Tip him really well and he’ll even let you drive.

Regional Channel 6

Public, educational and government access programming.

Educational Access Channel 10

Televises various events including Title IX high school sports and local graduations.

Cable Channel 16

Government access community television.

Cable Channel 22

Government access community television.

Sun Current

This Week

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Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport, IATA: MSP, ICAO: KMSP, (http://www.mspairport.com). Apple Valley is just minutes south of MSP. The airport is divided into two terminals: Terminal 1 - Lindbergh and Terminal 2 - Humphrey, with most flights arriving at the former. Savvy travelers should check to make sure they know which terminal they are arriving at/departing from. MSP is the former home of the now defunct Northwest Airlines. Since the recent merge of Delta (http://www.delta.com) and Northwest, it has become a major hub for connections in Atlanta, Tokyo and Fargo. Sun Country Airlines (http://www.suncountry.com) also uses MSP as its hub for North America - getting here by plane, from essentially anywhere, is a cinch. Think twice about making purchases at the duty free shop see By taxi section.

Surdyk’s Flights

Located past security, so you can bring it on the plane with you. Eat and booze like a king 40,000 miles up – choose from a selection of cheese plates, fresh salads, paninis, delectable desserts and fine wines. Sister shop of the famous Twin Cities liquor café.

Fairview Ridges Hospital

Excellent emergency room care. Good cafeteria food.

Fairview Cedar Ridge Clinic‎

Shingles? Bird Flu? Mumps? You name it, they can cure it.

HealthPartners Apple Valley Clinic‎

Contract something at Bogart's Guys Night? This Clinic will have the remedy for the disease, not your reputation

As in almost the entire United States, dial 911 to get emergency help.

Despite a big decline in the crime rate from the 1990s and early 2000's, Apple Valley is still a mediocre-sized city with mediocre-sized city problems. There are run-down areas within a few blocks of some well-traveled places such as near the bowling alley and city high school. The majority of violent crimes occur within a relatively small number of neighborhoods well off the beaten path, but given the chance nature of crime, you should exercise the usual precautions wherever you go. Even in a neighborhood with a bad reputation, though, you might still have a perfectly good time, as long as it falls within your comfort level, assuming your comfort level is above lead pipes to the back.

Take caution in the downtown area at night; after working hours, the MVTA buses get quiet and dark in hurry, but you'll be fine near seedy convenience stores and run-down eateries. When disembarking a crowded MVTA bus, especially in the downtown area, be wary of purse snatchers.

County Road 46 on the southern-most part of town serves as the border between Apple Valley and neighboring town Lakeville. CR-46 is highly controversial: law enforcement from both cities rarely patrol the area, afraid of overstepping their bounds. Thus, the road becomes a hotspot after dark and hundreds of street racers flood the roadways conducting battles of velocity, showmanship and pride. Travelers should avoid navigating this area on foot as heavily modified Dodge Neons, Ford Focuses, Geo Metros, Chevy Aveos and Honda Civics whiz past at speeds approaching the posted speed limit.

Beggars are somewhat common, though they are very unlikely to pose any kind of problem. Some sell a local newspaper called Coffee Times to make a living. Do not encourage them. If you feel obligated to give them money, it is a good idea to accompany them to the liquor store to ensure it is spent on booze and not drugs.

internet

Many citizens of Apple Valley characterize themselves as internet savvy on hopeful resumes that will likely be turned down by potential employers. If you have a computer with you, free wireless internet access is now standard-issue at coffee shops and tanning salons throughout the city; only the big chains like Starbucks charge for it. Most hotels offer free wi-fi, too, though if it’s unavailable, there is usually a hotel television guide that offers certain movies for purchase.

The good news is that the Dakota County Galaxie Library system offers free internet access via public terminals and password-free, public wireless. If you do not have a Dakota County library card, but you have a photo ID that shows you do not live in the area, you can get a temporary permit from the library information desk. If you are from Apple Valley and don't have a library card, though, all you'll receive is a purple-nurple and a brief lecture on how Apple Valleyians need to support the library system. Galaxie Library is the largest branch in the Dakota County system and has the books to prove it.

foreign consulates

Here's a quick list of all foreign consulates in Apple Valley:

None

United States Post Office

Excellent, speedy service!

by bus

Apple Valley is serviced by the Minnesota Valley Transit Authority (http://www.mvta.com). The newly constructed Apple Valley Transit Station serves as a launching point for not only adventures, but also dreams. Routes 420, 440, 441, 442, 465, 477 and 477 will all get you out of Dodge. Bus stops and stations are conveniently located in major parts of the city for easy access and have several coin-operated luggage lockers for personal storage. There is also a nearby Megabus (http://us.megabus.com) station in Minneapolis.

by train

This is the twenty-first century, there are no trains in Apple Valley.

by car

There are two main highways through the city. Interstate 35E runs parallel to city lines. Beware of heavy southbound traffic coming out of the Twin Cities during afternoon hours. County Road 77 terminates in the city. Feel free to drive your gas guzzling SUV through the pristine hills of Apple Valley.

It is illegal to drive and text in Minnesota. If you need to contact a friend or acquaintance from the previous night, while on the road, use a hands-free cellular phone and try to stay in your own lane, though this is rarely practiced. By all means, if there is an accident or someone is pulled over on the shoulder, slow down immediately: this is something that only happens every other day. Contact your closest family members to alert them of what you have just witnessed.

telephones

612 was the area code for all of Apple Valley for a long time and it remains the traditional area code to use when telling funny stories about how you drunk-texted a hot girl from the club last night. No one is quite sure when 952 came into effect, and honestly, no one really cares. Few people know anyone outside the area to warrant handing out area codes along with their basic seven digit phone number.